I was originally born in South America but I was captured in a cardboard box by strange men in dark colored clothes and duct taped inside. I was sitting in the alley and I filter fed for years until a hawk soars straight into the box and I'm able to emerge. Stench emanated from my pores and the hawk drops me in the ocean and the dolphins rub my body with sea sponges until I'm clean again. I lived on seaweed and lived with the sea monkeys who taught me how to swim in a synchronized fashion (otherwise known as synchronized swimming) and the art of juggling red balls the size of my palm. The hawk revisits me one day and says one thing: "It's time." He takes me to 9 different strip clubs with his leprechaun friends until I am captured by men in dark clothing (I recognize these men to be the ones who captured me when I was a small child.) They take me to a secret underground lair with thousands of fairies and unicorns. I ride these majestic creatures. I return from my slumber one morning to find all of my green leprechaun clothes, that were loaned to me for I had been naked after being under water for so long, had been replaced with black clothing. All. Black. I put it on. I am trained martial arts and I am now capable of calling myself a ninja. Jealous?
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music !!!