Crazy Newt was born during the final days of the second world war, in Nazi-Occupied P.E.I. He spent his formative years in the communist-occupied east, sending bottled messages across the sea to communicate with the democratic west.
In the 1960s, Crazy Newt joined an underground resistance faction and fought for freedom. However, he soon came to the realization that it was much easier for him to just escape the east and settle in the west, leaving his family of newtlings behind.
He then took up a trade as a professional whittler, turning large trees into spoons, hockey sticks, and toothpicks. His beleaguered wife would often complain of his hobby, to which Crazy Newt would respond by throwing a broken rye bottle at her head.
Crazy Newt died in 1982 of blood poisoning when he received over ten thousand splinters from a sexual incident involving a douglas fir.
He was born again in 1983 and began to quickly develop a hobby for writing completely bogus bios.
interests
Hiking, Hockey, Happy Meals, Huevos Rancheros, Hills, Ham, and something else that starts with "H"