artist Big John Bates

SO...

It's been a sufficient time since the end of the last tour and now the end of the 5th Annual Vancouver International Burlesque Festival that I can start to function like a human being again and not the sparkle-driven whiskey-fuelled zombie I was. Who had great lashes. I think that after the Friday Sweet Soul show, when the lovely Evilyn assisted me with my magic act and having  some twelve ounces of glitter dumped onto me and  then find it's way into EVERY possible orifice on me (and apparently every crevice at the Rickshaw theatre which hosted the event) I have officially hit glitter rehab.

In order to combat this though, I'm getting back on the BJB horse again, dragging Bloody Betty out for some shows with me. It will be refreshing to do the BJB numbers again, even though after the last tour I had to go mute for awhile. When anyone asked me about tour I got this weird rictus on my face and told them it was too soon to discuss it. It sort of felt like a war and that I couldn't really talk about it. I still can't, come to that. All I will say is despite the fact that everyone came perilously closes to dying at everyone else's hands at lest twice in eight weeks, our body count remains at zero. But with the support of family and friends, I am coming around and I no long wake up having nightmares of being back in the Murderbus.

Some cool news, though. The Burlesque Hall Of Fame weekend in Las Vegas will have a large number of Vancouver performers representing there: Both Sweet Soul Burlesque and Screaming Chicken are up for Best Troupe and former Voodoo Dollz Burgundy Brixx, Lola Frost and Cherry On Top are up for Best Debut.  I would say congrats, but I won't lie, it definitely makes our band look good (any myself exceptionally proud) to have had these amazing performers tour with us. It's also interesting to note that Jay Z wants Rihanna to be the face of a chain of 'burlesque clubs' he's looking to invest in. I'm guessing this will more than likely be a Pussycat Dolls-like school of burlesque and nothing that is either true to the old glamour or the avante guard performance art. But instead of getting mad about the idea, I think about this instead and smile. If this past tour and weekend were anything to go by, DIY artists who can pull out amazing shows out of nothingness, and legends like Judith Stein will help keep the art strong.

Worse comes to worse, if these clubs open then it may make air humping, crawling on hands and knees, and chair grinding socially acceptable when my peers have too much to drink (or too much glitter in their systems).

Now, to get dolled up and meet the boys to watch the Canucks game. Here's hoping Chicago's ass gets a spanking!

Mwuah!

Little Miss Risk

In a continuous effort to lure people out to our shows short of buying massive ads or using leg hold traps on passing city folk, I started making Facebook invites for as many of our shows as I could stomach. I won't stop you from making your own, mind you, but with offers of great music, Jagermeister and sassy striptease artists, I'm kind of running out of things to entice people out. I'm going to start trolling streets with a dark van and offers of puppies and candy at this rate.

So for those of you on our route, here's the links to some of the shows...

London, ON @ Call The Office April 5th

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1212198036693#!/event.php?eid=361086489164&ref=ts

Toronto, ON @ The Horseshoe Tavern April 9th

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1212198036693#!/event.php?eid=321902448919&ref=ts

Winnipeg, MB @ The Pyramid Cabaret April 12th

http://www.facebook.com/?sk=messages&tid=1212198036693#!/event.php?eid=365892815317&ref=ts

Not to say there aren't other Canadian dates, and there are, but I only have so much patience for Facebook these days. It's gotten to the point of being like some kind of odd, ego-stroking visual crack and frankly, I'm checking into rehab rather slowly on that one. Yes, my name is Little Miss Risk and I'm a social networking junkie. Eff.

I've also had time to notice that the more time we spend sealed in the Murderbus is more we begin to get a little... odd. Not to put too fine a point on it but in our insular little universe it has begun to feel very much like we're piloting a strange spaceship, travelling from galaxy to galaxy along and stopping to play shows, muss up our hosts guest linens, and leave a trail of glitter and broken guitar strings behind.

Along with spending so much time interacting with only one another our behavior degenerates amongst ourselves. As a whole we have begun to fall prey to inside jokes carried on for so long that anyone outside looking is starts to feel faintly nervous and wonders if they have some mace or liquor to subdue we lunatics. Not that we're dangerous - far from it. More like a bachelor that, over time, has grown so comfortable in their ways that they've become rather eccentric. But it's in these quiet moments that you learn things you didn't know or previously appreciate about your band.

Like, promoters randomly dying.

John dropped a subtle bomb on me that it was the first Big John Bates tour that one of their promoters actually died and no one knew for some days after. John, trying to get through on the phone, guided the band to playing a show for a bunch of skin heads while unbeknownst to any that upstairs the promoter for the show had died of a drug overdose. Now, that's a pretty good excuse for not promoting your show but even then I don't think I'd be that lenient. But then, I'm a bit of a hard case that way.

So it's with this effort to rejoin the non-cyber or band world and get off my duff and play a show in homage to Alice Cooper tonight in Phoenix. Here's hoping he can take a break from the links to see us do our thing. If not, I happen to have a bunch of zombie gophers ready to do battle and I'm just vindictive enough to release them on Arizona. Like I said, I'm a bit of a hard case that way.

Cheers,

Little Miss Risk

Normally I like to throw out an odd little fact or piece of arcane trivia that no one except myself or crossword puzzlers would be interested in. Friday is usually when I like to do these things but as my Friday got away from me yesterday (which BJB swapping stereos at Casa De Risk and hoofing it to my tower in East Vancouver) it fell by the wayside. Now with the weekend ahead, I thought I'd share a strange little bit that you may have not previously appreciated...

"When English writer Thomas Hardy (1840 - 1928) died, his heart was kept apart when his body was cremated. The idea was to bury it in Stinford, England, the home of his beloved childhood church and his family's burial plot. All went according to plan until his sister's cat jumped up onto her kitchen table and snatched the heart and ran off into the woods with it."

Source: The Book Of The Bizarre,  Varla Ventura

The moral of the story? Don't be late feeding the cat when your brother's earthly remains are on the kitchen table. For myself, I can think of at least several things that are wrong with that particular story (and I mean wrong as in demented, not inaccurate).

Enjoy your Saturday!

Little Miss Risk

Direct from the back alleys of pulp comes Big John Bates and the Voodoo Dollz with their dangerous and lascivious rock and roll burlesque show.
Mending a broken heart? Head-over-heels in love and unrequited? Then let Big John Bates and the Voodoo Dollz take the sting out of Cupid's arrow!
We'll be bringing out Valentines Day Massacre party to the Kootneys from Feb 12 - 14th to make you forget your woes and help you drown your sorrows.
 
February 12th   Revelstoke, B.C. @ The Regent
February 13th   Invermere, B.C   @ Bud's
February 14th   Nelson, B.C.     @ The Royal (+ fashion show by Bent Over Leather)
 
The Third Annual Voodoo Ball is also the pre-release North American show for the new album, Bangtown! Yes, Bangtown ... a crazed tour of the back alleys where bad girls and motorcycle gangs clash in the streets, swamp rats go wild, the organized crime runs on hoodoo, and hot rods burn up the blues. To present it in true BJB fashion the 3rd Annual Voodoo Ball's theme is the "Cadaver Cabaret", a Bangtown speakeasy where you'll find your drink spiked with witchcraft, and lovely ladies from Mis Risk's Voodoo army shamble forth to tease and taunt you. With music from Big John Bates, the Dreadnoughts, and DJ K-Tel and a variety of burlesque beauties. Advance tickets are available online at http://www.imuproductions.com. Costumes highly encouraged, with prizes for the best zombie-meets-cabaret dressed guests!
 
February 27th, 2009
3rd Annual Voodoo Ball - The Cadaver Cabaret @ The Bourbon 50 West Cordova Street, Vancouver, B.C.
With burlesque performances by:
Burgundy Brixx
Cara Milk
Lola Frost
Whiskey Rose and Merica Highrise
and surprise guests!
 
Live music by:
The Dreadnoughts
Big John Bates & the Voodoo Dollz
With DJ K-Tel to keep your body moving
All presided over by Vancouver's Voodoo Queen, Little Miss Risk!
Tickets available online at http://www.imuproductions.com
 
Be sure to keep up with all the online hijinx and our upcoming US tour at http://www.bigjohnbates.com, and our tour blog (featured on Exclaim! and www.bbad.com)
MySpace: (http://www.myspace.com/bigjohnbatesandthevoodoodollz)
Facebook: (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=24437548352)
Twitter: (http://twitter.com/bigjohnbates)

Just when you think that you've recovered from your New Years Eve hangover, Big John Bates and the Voodoo Dollz have kicked open the swamp's gates from Hell's Cabaret to ruin any resolutions you might have made for 2009.

With Voodoo Dollz Lola Frost and Lil Luvroc, along with yours cruelly, Little Miss Risk offering you the finest forbidden (fermented) fruit, and teasing you with our wicked bump and grind.

Also featuring Vancouver's Run GMC opening the show and getting your hips moving and helping you get the excercise you resolved you'd get this year.

Event info here at this link: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2338823&view=album&id=649861927&ref=nf#/event.php?eid=108062585724

Come out Thursday night to the Plaza and help start the New Year off right.

Hugs and hisses,
Tristan aka Little Miss Risk