The audio from a rare and deeply personal Kurt Cobain interview has been released and animated.

In the revealing interview, the former Nirvana frontman talks about the pain of his school days, that he felt “so different and so crazy that people always left me alone,” and that they would likely vote him “Most likely to kill everyone at a high school dance.”

In the interview, which was recorded in New York on July 22, 1993, by music journalist Jon Savage, Cobain also reveals that, as a child, he had few male friends and thought he might be gay. “I even thought I was gay. I thought that might be the solution to my problem.”

The animated video was released as part of PBS’s Blank on Blank series. Watch it below. 

In the interview, Cobain goes on to reveal that he had a great childhood — until his parents divorced. “And all of a sudden my whole world changed. I couldn’t face some of my friends at school,” he says. “I desperately wanted to have the classical, typical family.”

The legendary rocker talks about how he liked listening to Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin, but then he realized how sexist their songs were, and how they were all about sleeping with women. “And I was just starting to understand what was pissing me off so much, those last couple years of high school. And then punk rock was exposed. And then it all came together. It just fit together like a puzzle. It expressed the way I felt socially and politically and just everything. It was the anger that I felt, the alienation.”

He also talks about how he found family roots in Ireland’s County Cork, and about the physical pain he endured, both in his stomach and in his spine from scoliosis. Having the guitar slung across his back only made it worse. “I’m always in pain, too, and that really adds to the anger in our music. It really does. I’m kind of grateful for it in a way.”

Hauntingly, Cobain talks about how much better he was feeling at the time, just eight months before his suicide. “Yeah, especially since I’ve been married and I’ve had a child in the last year,” he says. “My whole mental state has been just almost improved a hundred per cent. I haven’t felt this optimistic since right before the divorce.”

posted by Jennifer Van Evra on Oct 24, 2013