Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon recently teamed up with Keep Shoes to design a pair of sneakers for charity, making him the latest musician to make the leap from wearing shoes to designing shoes.

Musician-designers have enjoyed varying levels of success. Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. fashion line is coveted in fashion circles, Pharrell’s Ice Cream sneakers are popular among the streetwear crowd, and he’s responsible for these amazing waffle shoes.

Unfortunately, many of the musicians who design footwear miss the mark. Here are some of the ugliest shoes designed by some very talented musicians.

Bon Iver

(Keep Company) 

These sneakers haven’t been released yet, so you can still pre-order them. Sales of the shoes benefit an animal advocacy group, and there’s a stray cat theme in the design. The shoes feature a puffy salmon-coloured canvas reminiscent of a salmon mousse, herringbone tweed on the ankles and a fishbone design on the toe. It’s unclear whether these details are supposed to appeal to cat lovers or to actual cats, specifically Heathcliff. It raises an important question: does Bon Iver think cats wear shoes?

Jessica Simpson

(shoebuy.com) 

If there’s one thing Jessica Simpson is good at, it’s being pregnant for 18 months. If there’s another thing she’s good at, it’s selling clothes. Since launching in 2005, Jessica Simpson Collection has become a fashion force, with over a billion dollars in annual sales. The line is so big and features so many products, it may be unfair to single out just one pair of shoes. Nevertheless, look at these. It’s a wedge heel that apparently offers some storage under your foot for gum and lipstick or whatever. And the lucite heel contains some substance that resembles Metallica’s Load album cover. Let’s just hope it’s not the same stuff.

Avril Lavigne

(Abbey Dawn) 

Abbey Dawn is the name of Avril Lavigne’s clothing line, and it’s more than just neckties and tank tops. The line reflects Lavigne’s own personal style, and that means a lot of pink and black and leopard and plaid. It also features some shoes, like these terrifying wedges. With all the spikes, they look legitimately dangerous. You’re going to scrape up your shins pretty badly. Also, these shoes may have been inspired by Bowser from Mario Bros.

Kanye West

(collette.fr)

We get it. Kanye West is into fashion. His lyrics contain references to streetwear and couture designers and he’s collaborated with Nike on two incarnations of the Air Yeezy sneaker, which sell for thousands of dollars on eBay. At last fall’s Paris Fashion Week, West unveiled his first women’s clothing line, which featured these pearl-encrusted heels with superfluous anklets. The shoes retail for $6,000, and who wouldn’t want to spend that much to walk around in tauntaun hooves?

Carlos Santana

(Carlos by Carlos Santana) 

When he’s not playing light guitar riffs, selling sparkling wine or growing his moustache, Carlos Santana designs women’s shoes and bags. The brand is called Carlos by Carlos Santana, and honestly no single shoe stands out as particularly ugly. They’re all kind of unremarkable, though more metallic than most shoes. I honestly just think it’s really funny that Carlos Santana designs women’s shoes.

Related:

Kanye West poses with fashion enemies
Bjork, a fashion gallery
Bon Iver's Justin Vernon on Q

posted by Dave Shumka on Jun 25, 2012