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blog post The Sunshine Show No. 32

posted by Sunshine Dick on Jan 29, 2010

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I can't believe that a week has already come and gone. I've had a pretty busy week, what with apartment hunting and such. No luck yet, though. The Sunshine Show is absolutely stuffed to the rafters this week! So much to do and only an hour in which to do it.

I'll be promoting a little sporting event that's coming up in February, I'd like to offer my two cents on the troubles down at the old Carson program, and I'll read what could very well be the final story in the Sunshine Show Short Story Contest. And you'll see why I saved this one until the very end. It's not good.

So please, I'm almost begging here; if you feel the urge to sit yourself down at the Smith-Corona and peck out a story for my contest, don't delay! All it need be is 500 words or less, unpublished, self-composed, smut-free, and the main character must be me, Richard "Sunshine Dick" Johnson. I'll tell you where to send your entries farther down in this missive.

Next week, I'll have The Sunshine Show Birthday Club for February. So if you or anyone you know is celebrating a birthday in February, I'd ask that you send it along to me and next week I'll read your birthday message on the air!

Both your short stories and your Birthday Club sentiments can be electrically mailed to feedback@cbcradio3.com. Please, please type either "Sunshine Short Story" or "February Sunshine Birthday Club" in the subject area, depending on what you're sending. And I thank you.

posted by Sunshine Dick on Jan 29, 2010

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#1 posted by
MoniSki
on Jan 29, 2010

My first Sunshine show of 2010!

can't wait :) I've missed you Mr. Dick.

#2 posted by
suckamc
on Jan 29, 2010

Good Morning Mr. Johnson and fellow bloggers! As some of you know, I'm doing the scorekeeping at a gymnastics competition today, but that can't keep me away from my ray of Sunshine of the week.

Martin

#3 posted by
TheRadioHead
on Jan 29, 2010

I know that, sadly you are no longer with your ladyfriend, Brenda. So I assume not living with her in her son's house, and you have no apartment yet.

So my friend, where have you been laying your head at night?

#4 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 29, 2010

This is going to be a good how today. My divining rod says so.

#5 posted by
Michael Wynn
on Jan 29, 2010

So from my feed, there was like two seconds of this song, before the sunshine show intro?

what happened?

#6 posted by
cathyort
on Jan 29, 2010

It is INDEED a sunny morning here!

@TheRadioHead, hope you are feeling better!

#7 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Divining rod? Are you a witch?

#8 posted by
MikeV
on Jan 29, 2010

I'm probably gonna get hammered tonight.

Sincerely,

Mike V

#9 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Obviously, that song is terrible.

#10 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

I continue to live in my brother's pool house. Up Newmarket way.

#11 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

I will pray for you.

#12 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Thank You. But "Mr. Dick" sounds a little inappropriate.

Call me "Mr. Johnson".

#13 posted by
Michael Wynn
on Jan 29, 2010

I disagree wholeheartedly.

#14 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Given that I've never heard the song, I don't know. But it is acceptable for you to not be correct all of the time.

#15 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 29, 2010

Will you pray for me as well just for miscellaneous reasons?

#16 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Way, way ahead of you, Sir or Madam.

#17 posted by
TheRadioHead
on Jan 29, 2010

I lost sleep last night thinking about this.

It is easy enough to while away the daylight hours in the public library (please don't pee in the elevator), and eat at the Mission, but we all need a soft spot to land at night.

I hope the pool house is heated.

@cathyort - un petit peu, merci

#18 posted by
MoniSki
on Jan 29, 2010

My apologies.

I didn't mean to offended you Mr. Dick Johnson.

#19 posted by
MikeV
on Jan 29, 2010

Thanks for the prayers.

Also I prefer an IBM typewriter.

#20 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

TheRadioHead: The poolhouse is heated, yes. And I'm no longer allowed in the public library. Or the mission.

MoniSki: Apologies accepted. I just want you to stay on the straight and narrow.

MikeV: An IBM! Well, pardon me, Aristotle Onassis.

#21 posted by
Michael Wynn
on Jan 29, 2010

The opinion I expressed is mine and only mine. It's not whether I am right or wrong, it is only how I feel about said song.

Now if others wish to chime in, I will put it out there. Does anyone else like the song Crayon by Caribou?

#22 posted by
tb3
on Jan 29, 2010

Do you use the pool water test kit to test your urine PH and Chlorine before submitting samples to the brass at the CBC?

#23 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 29, 2010

That is a silly suggestion. We all know the CBC brass uses the taste tast.

#24 posted by
TheRadioHead
on Jan 29, 2010

Appears you have burned quite a few bridges.

Well, life is a series of lessons, isn't it?

I just hope you've learned from yours.

#25 posted by
suckamc
on Jan 29, 2010

since I'm here at a sporting meet with all these kids, I was wondering, did you play any sports when you were younger?

#26 posted by
MoniSki
on Jan 29, 2010

I'm listening, and all of a sudden I hear the words, "pleasure" and "sexually" in one sentence.

I have children listening to your show "Mr. Johnson". I may just have to send a letter to Peter Mansbridge about this.

#27 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

OK, ok...calm down.

But you're still wrong.

#28 posted by
MikeV
on Jan 29, 2010

Late night television is so smutty these days. Still not as bad as that Regis fella though.

#29 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

I don't remember asking you any personal questions about your urinary habits and such? I'm wondering why you'd think it's tickety-boo to just go ahead and inquire about mine.

#30 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Given that I'm stuck here on this "radio station", one could surmise that I've learned nothing from past mistakes.

#31 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Shouldn't your kids be in school? Or are you one of those hippies that home schools your children because you don't want to be bothered bathing them? Also, blame the people on that Conin O'Brian program for the inappropriate content.

As for Peter Mansbridge, that pup wouldn't know what to do with me.

#32 posted by
Michael Wynn
on Jan 29, 2010

Always have to have the last word don't you?

#33 posted by
tb3
on Jan 29, 2010

Sorry, I just sort of assumed we were those kind of friends. Does this mean I should return the matching satin Chevette Boys, monogrammed with Best Buds jackets I have on order with the Engraving Kiosk at the Sears Roebuck in the mall?

#34 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

First question is, what is a man doing at a gymnastics meet?

Second of all, growing up, Ma and Pa couldn't afford to put into any sanctioned organized sports, so I played a crude form of hockey using only a hog's leg and horse dung.

#35 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 29, 2010

I'm sure a self-gratifying bear is is not too terribley blue for you...wasn't your show the first to mention auto-erotic asphyxiation?

#36 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

What are you, dim? Sears-Roebuck hasn't existed for years. They're known as Simpsons Sears now.

#37 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Not necessarily.

#38 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Well, you've got part of your history correct. I was the first to exhibit auto-erotic asphyxiation on TV, yes. But 'twas not on my show. It was during my appearance on The Ronnie Prophet Show.

#39 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

I assume you mean Regis Philbin? He hasn't been any good since he hosted The Westinghouse Tonight Show.

#40 posted by
MikeV
on Jan 29, 2010

You could still probably beat the Leafs with them.

#41 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

Only if the great Andy Bathgate was on my team.

#42 posted by
tb3
on Jan 29, 2010

I thought that has been made clear in all 17,000 of my comments on this blog. But thanks for rubbing it in, Albert Einstein.

Praise Eugene Whelan we aren't getting personal here, though!

#43 posted by
MoniSki
on Jan 29, 2010

I am astonished by your language.

First of all, I am not a hippie. How dare you. How dare you assume that my children are unhygienic. I'll have you know that they are bathed twice a day, and I make sure they clean behind their ears, and inside, because who knows what kind of filth they hear on this Canadian Broadcasting Corporation website.

And I don't appreciate that you scapegoat and blame Mr. O'Brian. You only have yourself to blame sir.

Well perhaps I"ll have to get Mr. George Strombopolous after you. Now there is someone with class.

#44 posted by
iconoco
on Jan 29, 2010

Yeaaaaaah Cone of Light. Awesome.

#45 posted by
Sunshine Dick
on Jan 29, 2010

I have no idea who that Greek fella is that you named there.

And I'm sorry if I offended you and/or your clean children. Isn't it about time for their baths?

#46 posted by
MoniSki
on Jan 29, 2010

I'll have you know that "Greek Fella" is one of the most lovely human beings working over there at your broadcasting corporation.

and I'll have you know, I already gave them their baths.

#47 posted by
tb3
on Jan 29, 2010

You are pretty cantankerous today Richard, what's got yer goooat? Perhaps this separation from Brenda, and subsequently losing your assistant, Trent got your ire up? May I suggest a reconciliation? Before tonight is spent in the pool shed with an evening of -30 with the wind chill in the forecast?

I think the sterno stove fumes are really getting to you.