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blog post Tariq's Basement Studio: The Kids Are Alright

posted by Tariq Hussain on Jan 07, 2010

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How goes your Thursday everyone?

So I don’t know if you’re experiencing this or not, but lately it seems like everyone around me is having a baby. Have you noticed this phenomenon?

Right here at Radio 3 in fact, our very own Mark MacArthur is going to be a dad in February. I’ve always been curious about how musicians balance creativity, career and kids. A friend once told me that a certain songwriter (I think it was Ron Sexsmith, but I’m not 100% certain) confessed to writing his best songs after he had his first child. Songwriter Jason Collett is another example of working musician / dad. Having kids hasn’t thrown him off his path to success in any way either.

In addition to playing songs by musical parents today, we’ll talk to Chris Eaton of Rock Plaza Central about his impending fatherhood and upcoming musical plans.

And I asked Radio 3 dad John Paolozzi the following question: ARE KIDS ROCK & ROLL?

He said, with a lot of love in his voice mind you, "NO", adding "your life as you know it is over."

What do you think?

Post your comments on our blog.

posted by Tariq Hussain on Jan 07, 2010

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#1 posted by
suckamc
on Jan 07, 2010

I can barely balance all the crazy things I have to do in my life as it is, I can't imagine adding a kid into the mix. I know lots of people having or who have kids now as well. I guess that's what happens when you hit your thirties.

Look at tb3 though, if that isn't a great balance he seems to manage with his daughter and going to shows (and getting her involved in music as well!), I don't know what is.

Martin

#2 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

If you aren't prepared for every aspect of your life to change, then you really shouldn't be thinking about having a kid. While, he's being funny, he's also being truthful.

But, that said, once you find your rhythm again, there actually is a life to be had thereafter.

One of the best things to come with having kid is learning to judiciously and without prejudice drop things that were a waste of your time, that provided you no return. And you don't feel the slightest bit of remorse about it — your time is precious, and you know it.

Which I think is why musicians might feel they get better as parents. You cut the crap and get to the point.

So, yes, I guess Kids are Rock and/or Roll.

#3 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

sometimes it doesn't feel so balanced…

but then again being a parent means to forever feel like you're doing it wrong ;)

#4 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

This sentence, should have read:

One of the best things to come with having kid is learning to judiciously and without prejudice drop things that were a waste of your time, that provided you no value.

You should never do something with the expectation of getting something back – but with the feeling that there is value in having done so.

#5 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 07, 2010

I agree with what Martin said.

The most I can handle thrown into the mix is a cat and a self sufficient one at that. I hope that all the Mountain Dew I've drank in my life has rendered me infertile.

#6 posted by
TheRadioHead
on Jan 07, 2010

I agree with everything said above, you do get a rythm to life, and try to balance work, play, obligations.

But nothing can prepare you for how different, and difficult it is. I could not do it, swimming and music lessons, parent committee meetings, homework, feeding the crew, sickness (always in the middle of the night) took all my energy, and I put myself aside for 2 decades. I considered a hot bath an indulgence.

My family tells me I look younger now than I did 10 years ago, I don't have the heart to tell them it's because I'm finished raising them.

But, it is worth every effort. I have two amazing humans in my life, and they in turn have chosen 2 wonderful partners, so 3 became 5.

And they are really, really Rock & Roll now!

#7 posted by
Justin Beach
on Jan 07, 2010

Paolozzi and Teeter are right - every aspect of your life changes. You are not going out to as many shows, and you can pretty much forget the after-parties. You're not going to get any sleep for the first six months and you are going to lose touch with some friends. You definitely don't want to go into it lightly...

BUT if you're ready it's also the best and most important thing you'll ever do. Kids are rock and roll first and foremost because Rock and Roll needs kids. In order to keep growing and changing and paying the bill music needs a constant influx of new blood.

Kids are also rock and roll because raising children is the ultimate art form - music and literature and visual art are all wonderful but as a parent you are creating an actual person who is going to go out into the world and do stuff, and while you lay the foundation and give them early guidance - you don't even know what they are going to do.

And kids are rock and roll if you make it so. My kids (17 and 15 now) have no interest in Beyonce or Lady GaGa, or Nickleback or Avril. They've been raised properly - my youngest in particular is into Mother, Mother and Two Hours Traffic in particular and plays guitar & keys and sings.

Kids aren't easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.

#8 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

Hey, we're like the 3 stages of being a parent: new bird in the nest; giving the bird wings; and, letting that bird fly out of the nest. We ad McArthur to our parade, and we've got all the stages covered!

Being a parent means deciding which shirt has the least amount of coffee and food stains on it before you go out in public.

#9 posted by
Benoit from Ottawa
on Jan 07, 2010

They're all true.

#10 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

I stumbled across Alternadad yesterday in reading a story at Read Made magazine.

Has anyone seen, heard of or read this? It looks deliciously right up our alley. And reminds me of the article in NY Magazine that Paolozzi himself shared the link to a couples years back, right on here.

I absolutely will look that up.

#11 posted by
Benoit from Ottawa
on Jan 07, 2010

It's always been true that most people can't do it. Well, a lot of people.

We need to have both our eyes and our inner ears feeding in info for balance. Take your eyes away from the environment (reading) when your inner ears are being challenged by the car's bounces, and it's not surprising that your sense of balance (or of bodily placement in space, really) is thrown off.

Interviewee (if you're there, I didn't catch your name): hang on to the book, there may be some waiting time... Could be good to have an involving book around you...

#12 posted by
Michael Wynn
on Jan 07, 2010

I agree, I have kids, and i don't think that you stop rock and rolling just because of that. I certainly see less shows, but I make a point of going to see things I REALLY want to, like the Pixies, and some of these indie shows.

For one thing kids are bombarded by crappy, or mainstream music all the time, whether it's coming from their friends, radio, or movies/Tv Shows they see. I try to balance that with a healthy dose of what I think is GOOD music, such as indie, Ramones and other types of music.

Balance and exposure is the key here. They need to decide on their own what's good or bad, as long as their exposed to a lot of different types, that's the main thing.

#13 posted by
Benoit from Ottawa
on Jan 07, 2010

...rock. Seen them quite a few times live.

#14 posted by
tb3
on Jan 07, 2010

I am so bad in cars, that I can't be anywhere but behind the wheel driving, or I will feel disoriented, and sick.

Control freak much?

#15 posted by
dawn.h
on Jan 07, 2010

That was a good interview.

Tariq: You should follow up post-baby. Ha. If he has a free momnet, that is.

#16 posted by
daa1982
on Jan 07, 2010

Tariq should interview Vish...ask him where he is.

#17 posted by
dawn.h
on Jan 07, 2010

I know exactly what Mr Eaton is saying and he could try listening to music while he reads. When I was taking the subway to university and reading I had trouble focussing too. I found a little music - and I realize this sounds silly - helped me tune out the music and with it other noises so I could actually focus on the book's text.

#18 posted by
alexg
on Jan 07, 2010

Exposing your kids to your musical tastes is really rewarding. A shared Christmas gift for my 5 and 8 year old boys this year was a vinyl copy of Joel Plaskett's LaDeDa and they were thrilled. The only downsize is their obsessive nature. I don't know how many times we've had to listen to "Furr" by Blitzen Trapper because my 5 year old can't get enough of it. Could be worse, I guess.

#19 posted by
alexg
on Jan 07, 2010

...forgot to mention too that eventually, you can take your kids to gigs. It was a huge event in our lives when I took my oldest - 7 at the time - to see Feist at the Metro Centre in Halifax. Not only did he love that gig, but he insisted on my buying a vinyl copy of Hayden's "In Field and Town" on the way out as he was the opener. I had to forgoe the post gig beer, but hey, it was worth it!

#20 posted by
John Paolozzi
on Jan 07, 2010

I'm just glad I didn't come across as too much of a monster.

When I describe kids as an "apocolypse", I meant for that to imply that after an apocolypse, there is a whole new world that is born, that is in it's own way better, though much more innocent and kid-friendly.